My friends baby

My friends daughter is one year old and had a stroke, eliminating her ability to use the right side of her body.  There are a lot of paths this could take, and I don't want to seem unduly pessimistic, or foolishly optimistic before the diagnosis progresses and more is known.  However, I feel that the impact of a child I know, a beautiful baby girl, who is sick/suffering is a further loosening of the foundation of my belief in order, and fairness in the world.  Sure, this incident could prove to have a silver lining, but I do NOT under any circumstance want to hear some bullshit about GOD having a plan. 
I do not claim to know much about spirituality-I believe in something-something more powerful than a bunch of dust and matter floating in space-but I don't believe for a minute that human beings are so frickin' special that we warrant special consideration from an infallible diety.  If anything, we are glanced over as a speck of dirt on his nylon lapel.  And there I go, causing myself annoyance by giving this...omnipitance some sort of human qualities. 
I believe in a current, an energy, a life force, and yes, I love Yoda.  I believe that organized religions have the ability to lead people towards that life force, but there is soooooo much dirt within the organizations, and so much posturing and ideas that are opposite of scripture that it seems people are led AWAY from the energy more than they are led TOWARDS that energy...
Anyway, my friends daughter had a stroke, at the tender age of one.  She's going to have a spinal tap, and will have to relearn to use the right side of her body.  This may make her stronger.  But I think happy movie endings are less common then we are led to believe.  I hope that she can tap into that energy, and find happiness as her life progresses.  And I hope that everything turns out OK.
I have made connections between this situation and mine with Kassi.  I've been thinking alot about her.  Seeing images of her in that bed, I cannot erase that image.  It almost feels as if that image erased the memory of her laughter, as I cannot recall that, and I haven't been able to since her death.  There is still a strong presence of guilt in my life.  As here I am continuing to be, while she is...elsewhere.   I think her death provoked the idea of this spiritual current theory.  I like the idea of her not missing it here.  Of her riding the current as a group of loosley bound particles, conscious of everything else, but not concsious of here.  Or an even better thought is whatever she wanted and believed is what happened to her.  Life is so effin' fragile, and I take so much for granted.  I want that to change.  I have my health, Katie, friends and family.  I have a job, and am able to go back to school for my second bachelors degree.  I have so much...too much even, while others in the world have nothing.